A TRINI LETTER TO SANTA

Tuna Puna, Trinidad

December 26, 2005

Dear Santa,

know yah probly wonderin why I writin yuh on BoxsingDay,but after opening meh presents and dem yesterday, I just had to write yuh. Santa ah was a real good gyul all year round, ah lissen to meh muddah when she talk to meh, ah help out with house wuk, ah even help de neighbour chilrren and them do dey chaws too. Ah helped dat old Mr. George across d road when d oddah chilrren just watch him and leave him dey. Santa ah study hard in school dis year, so hard that ah come fuss in meh class.

Santa when ah write meh Christmas List to yuh, ah axk yuh for a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game and a monopoly.

So Santa . . . how the fock after reading meh list you would leave under d blasted Christmas tree ah shitty focking light up yo-yo, ah mudder focking plastic tea-set and ah focking no name dollylookin like she have polio. Santa is like yuh focking blind or yuh cyah read! Every year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh focking ass and like ah fool ah does always give yuh ah nex chance but ah fock again. Yuh focking fat ass dead with me, yuh hear what ah say, yuh dead. Ah go wait for yuh muddahass next year, yuh better don't try to squeeze yuh fat bolockscious ass thru meh louvers, because Santa ah swear ah go fock yuh up, it go be me, you and a guava wood.

Just imagine you give that little cokey eye, knock knee, moddaacunt Laurel from across de road, she get everything that she axk for, till she doh even have room to walk around she house. And Santa, yuh see you and dem focking reindeer and dem, all yah better tink twice bout landing on my house next year, especially dat focking Red nose prick Rudolph, ah go stone he muddacunt, yuh go have to walk back to d focking north pole when ah done with dem. I swear nex year, ah waiting patiently for yuh fat focking ass to come Ho-Hoin' on meh galvanise roof.

Ah go do fuh yuh, ah promise, watch and see....

Love,
Kerri Ann.