Sunday, August 26, 2007

$57 million zoo architect visits TT

Sunday, August 26 2007

Internationally known zoo architect Patrick Janikowski met Tourism Minister Howard Chin Lee on Friday, centre of discussion was the proposed $57M upgrade of the Emperor Valley Zoo.

Janikowski who has designed zoos all over the world, is now bidding to design a US$700M zoo in Hong Kong.

The $57M allocated for the local zoo upgrade will be administered by the Tourism Development Company (TDC).

Well ah guess everybody know by now that the fockin jefe Patos gone an build ah fockin palace for himself and he hyena next to the fockin zoo.

So with the upgrade of the fockin zoo, this will now be home to all the fockin monkeys in the PNM Cabinet. Now this zoo will only feature the various types of monkies that can be found on the African continent.

So imagine as you enter this new fockin zoo the first thing you eye could bless would be Fitz fockin Gerald Hinds. Lard, now this will be the ugliest male fockin monkey you could find of all the species. But fear not my good friends take ah walk through our new zoo and dont be too bothered by his cacophony.

In the Gorilla section youre guaranteed not to miss Larry "Fuck You" Achong. in this section you could feed the animals. Feel free to walk with some scotch and ah whole fig tree if you please.

Over to the right you will see some of the female species. The first being Joan. Actually Mr. Janikowski wanted to put the ugliest fockin monkey to welcome visitors to the fockin zoo and there was ah big toss up between Joan and Fitz. Fitz won because of the strange sounds that emit from his vocal chords. However beware of Joan! She could stay behind the bars of her cage and bite you half ah mile outside. Dont let the kids look at her they may want to leave immediately.

As you walk furthur up you will find the affable Valley. He came with ah factory defect from Uganda. Never mind the lisp. It wont make sense trying to figure out what he says. Its not worth it. He cant even write cheques. They always bounce.

The only dog that was allowed in this new fockin zoo was a Rott. We call him Rowley locally. This hardened lookin Neanderthal was carved in Tobago. It was hard work toting material from the hospital in Tobago to his housing scheme in Landate.

(To continue....return for the conclusion)

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